And sorry I used to be that I could not travel both. But no longer! I've had a bit of an epiphany: I've been trying to hold onto a life that died a long time ago; and at the same time, I was desperately stretching and grasping for another one, just out of reach. I kept asking God why He wouldn't just move this Holy Grail a little bit closer.
Well, I think I've just figured it out. I wasn't supposed to stretch farther; I was supposed to let go. And that's what I'm going to do. I'm done with the lying, the trying, the fighting, and the dying. It's over, I'm through. I'm not going to keep raising someone else's kids, running someone else's household, and keeping order where it's not appreciated. If I'm gonna keep on giving and sacrificing, it's gonna be where it matters.
I was not put here by God to waste my talents and energy spinning my wheels here in this little dead-end pothole. I'm here to do great things and to go places and to be someone! So I'm done with this. These people can run their own lives and be or not be whoever or whatever they dang well please. I've spent my entire life on them, and they don't care. Now, neither do I. Doesn't mean I don't love them, I'm just done living for them.
If I had any friends whatsoever, this would be time for a PARTY! But, seeing as I have no friends, I guess I better go find some :P So, anyone out there not totally annoyed by me and willing to give a friendship a chance to grow? lol
