I've Created a Monster.....

     My Facebook status currently reads:

     Alright, I'm super board and I need something to do. So, I want ideas for a blog post. Write a title here, and I'll take the first five, write them down, mix them up, and draw one. I'll then write an entire blog post on it and post the link so you can see it. Keep it PG and have fun! :)

     The result of the drawing: Free Space on Bingo- Contributing to the Laziness of Young Adults courtesy Megan "The Jerk" Trantham (She decided to add ALL the suggestions and make them ridiculously inconducive to easy writing).  So, here it is - my first Post Title Challenge:

     Free Space on Bingo: Contributing to the Laziness of Young Adults

     You've all seen it.  That little square in the middle of the Bingo board that reads "Free Space."  "I am your friend!" it's tiny voice cries, "I am the key to success!"  But is this little space your savior in the game, or is it something more nefarious?

     Young people today are constantly searching for ever-increasingly easier ways to complete tasks - tasks that are already far too easy to be reasonably justified. Bingo itself is hardly suitable for adolescents and young adults.  Young, virulent individuals should, ideally, be out providing for the weak and infirm, not dilly-dallying with piddly board games.  But, as this point seems moot in light of the deterioration of our foolhardy society, I shall leave it be for the time being. 

     The topic at hand is, when playing this mind numbing game, should you use the free space?  I say "No! A resounding no!"  And here is why:  it is a scientific fact that this insidious little tile, innocent though it may appear, is one of the largest contributing factors to the destruction of the Work Ethic in America and other Westernized countries.  In a recent study conducted by the nationally acclaimed G.E.N.I.U.S. Society,* it was discovered individuals between the ages of 13-35 who habitually employed the Free Space square when playing Bingo were 51% more likely to live with their parents after high school/college, 35% more likely to never attend college, 43% more likely to be obese, 76% more likely to drive a fuel-ineffecient vehicle, 94% more likely to hold a minimum wage job, 89% more likely to be on welfare, and 27.53% more likely to commit suicide than their peers who chose to play the game honorably.

     To me, this is certainly sufficient evidence to support the banning of this abhorrent abomination.  But I cannot rid our great race of this perverse scourge without your help.  We must band together to abolish this plague; petition your senators to pass Senate Bill F920.  Say "NAY!" to Proposition K!
    

*General Enfranchisement of Nerds In the United States Society