I'm Learning to Live♪♫

   Well, last night was fantastic.  My Sunday school teacher, Miranda, had a game night at her house with our class.  It was awesome.  We had biscuits and chocolate gravy :P DON'T KNOCK IT TILL YOU TRY IT!!!  it was actually really good!  Then we played Catch-Phrase (I ROCK at that game, along with Miranda and Emily Gideon haha!) and we had some valuable conversations.  It was nice, just hanging out with other teens and having good NORMAL fun. 
   That's something I just don't really know how to do.  I never just have fun.  It's hard, knowing what to do in a non-serious situation.  In situations where most people are awkward and clueless, and totally at a loss, I'm completely at home, and instinctively know what to do.  Like at funerals and stuff like that. I can comfort people in ways that others can't.  I don't know how, but I just do.  But in places where everyone is comfortable and is just having nice, meaningless fun, I'm totally lost. I hate that.  But no one will try to show me how to just cut loose and let my hair down.  That's something I really need.  But maybe I just will never get it.  I don't know. 
   But last night was nice.  I lost myself for just a little while, while we were playing Catch-Phrase.  It was weird, and yet, it felt soooo good.  I just hope that I can find a place in my youth group.  I hope I can make some friends and become a fun person to be around. I just need someone to teach me....
   Anyway, last night was the best time I've had in a long time.  I need more of that.  Thanks Miranda!

If we are the Body, why aren't His arms reaching?

  Why aren't His hands healing?  Why aren't His words teaching?   Some of you may know that song from Casting Crowns.  Well, since this past Saturday, that's kinda been the theme of my experiences.  On Saturday I had a blast at one of my friend's church.  The youth group had a movie and game night.  It was amazingly fun, but the movie got me thinking. 
   We saw the movie "To Save a Life."  First of all, I'm gonna say that it is now one of my favorite movies ever.  It was about pretty much every teen issue you could come up with, and had a phenomenal Christian message.  It really got me thinking about reaching out and helping and accepting people. 
   Then on Sunday evening, after the always-enjoyable usual church service that morning, I went with my youth group to an event called "The Stand."  That, my friends, was an experience.  There was a lot of singing, and a message.  It basically challenged Junior High through College aged kids to reach out in their schools and "take up their cross."  It really made me start reconsidering the way I've handled myself. 
   One thing that was stressed was the fact that we will be judged, persecuted, and rejected if we stand up for our faith.  We have to accept and deal with that.  Jesus DIED for us, so being a bit of a social pariah at  times seems but a small price to pay.  In addition, in my case at least, I'm already unpopular!  I don't have anything to lose.  And personally, I'd rather be unpopular because I AM someone, not because I'm no one. 
   And really, why do we pretend be someone or something just to please other people?  I would far rather be hated for who I am than be loved for someone I'm not.  God made each and every one of us for a reason.  He has a purpose and a plan.
   That's not to say that I feel that way all the time.  In fact, most of the time I actually feel totally meaningless and purposeless.  But that's something that I'm going to have to work through, and now I have some people who are willing to help me, so I can finally start figuring out how to get past all my issues.  But until I figure it all out, I'll just keep telling myself that and keeping a good attitude and trusting God. 
   So, basically, I've been thinking a lot and I'm going to be changing some things. :) And I've had some amazing experiences that have in fact made a very important impact on me.

Just Hangin'

   So, nothing too exciting is happening right now, still lookin' up and actually enjoying life for once.  Not necessarily because everything is perfect, but because I've had an attitude change.  Amazing what that can accomplish.....
   I'm going to a friend's church for a movie and game night tonight, and then I have church in the morning. :) School's going good, and life is just pretty much looking up.  Still struggling with a lot right now, but with the support that I've now realized some people are willing to give, I'll get through it all.
   Oh! And I have some new favorite songs lol ♪♫ They're not new, and I don't know if you guys are interested, but it's my blog, so I suppose I'll post'em:  American Dream by Casting Crowns, Dead Serious by ZOEGirl (now disbanded:( ), You Get Me by ZOEGirl, and Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns ♪♫