♪♫Well, Life is a Road and I Wanna Keep Goin'♪♫

     Well, nothing new is happening, so I haven't had much time or material to post.  I won't repeat all the thoughts I've already addressed here; that would seem the height of superfluity, even for me (Superfluosness? Superfluosity? Superfluidity? Ahhh, Superfluidityyyy *nods satisfactorily*).  Anyway, I'm watching The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Again. I know; I have no life. (Prime Merlinian? Really?!) Anywho. Yeah, so that's about it; I'm in survival mode until school's out (One more week! *squeal of ill-contained exuberance*).
TTFN: TaTa For Now! *Bounces away*

P.S. Boys are dumb. The wrong one always likes you. It's. Dumb. KK, I'm done.

♪♫You Can Laugh, But I'm Dead Serious♪♫

♪♫Watch her as she goes,
      There's something different and she knows it.
      Ask her why, and she'll flash that silly smile.
      She says she's got a purpose
      And she's done with all the games;
      Jesus saved her soul and she'll never be the same♪♫
   
     So, I've been thinking a great deal lately about a lot of different things. Mostly though, I've been thinking about some changes I'm going to be making over this summer (as I will have a good deal of down time) and the mission trip next month. 
     I've unofficially dedicated this coming summer to getting myself back on track. getting my life on track for the first time ever, now that I have a chance to do so.  It's going to take a lot of work, and a lot of changes are simply going to have to be radical, drastic, and sudden.  I'm trying to start deciding what those might be, but honestly, I really wish I could just sit down with someone and just process it all verbally in a completely honest and open fashion.  So that's a lot to contemplate.
     Also, I'm really thinking about the mission trip of which I'll be a part.  As I understand it - and I don't have a lot of details because I haven't had time to worry about them - we'll be in East St. Louis assisting in a center that essentially has a lot after-school type programs (although it's in the summer, so it's obviously not "after school") for inner city kids.  These are the kind of kids that have truly been through hell and back.  They've been through just about every imaginable atrocity and they live in poverty and abuse every day.  In many ways, I can empathize a lot with their problems; I grew up in a highly abusive home and have a lot of emotional baggage from it.  What I've been through could never begin to compare with the experiences of these kids, but I do believe it helps me to understand their psyche a great deal.  Their pain, for the most part, differs from mine in intensity rather than kind.
     These kids, people who have not been given the chances the rest of us have, people that have known nothing but pain and abuse - they are my passion.  They're the reason I want to be an attorney; it's not for the money or the excitement or anything of that sort: it's for the people without a voice, the ones who can't help themselves.  These are the people about whom I care the deepest.  They're the ones that I truly think that my experiences can help.  I think that through my pain, I have great sympathy, empathy, and understanding for people who have been through abuse and neglect. I think that they are the biggest reason that God allowed me to go through what I did. So I'm dead serious about this trip.
     I might have another post on this topic coming up; I'm not sure yet.
 

♪♫It's Your Life, Whatcha Gonna Do?♪♫

     ♪♫The world is watchin' you.
           Every day the choices you make
           Say who you are and who
           Your heart beats for.
            It's an open door;
            It's your life.♪♫
     So, I'm still completely uninspired. Utterly. Completely. So don't get your hopes up about reading something really profound right about now.
     Essentially, this weekend has been about homework and making it through the last couple weeks of school.  I've expended more creativity and thought this weekend than customarily do in an entire week of school. I. Am. Tired. Of. Thinking. Thus, this wretched post.
     Today, we went to church and Sunday school was, per usual, good.  Then there was lunch with my grandparents and aunt, and I shopped for some makeup at a sale.
     Tonight, I had class and there's where I started thinking.  The class was the second class at church for those of us going on the mission trip next month.  Really, I've just been thinking about it a lot anyway, but I started thinking more about tonight during class and what it means to be a servant leader and just how I should live day to day.
     We were presented tonight with various scenarios that we might encounter on the mission trip.  I answered some questions exactly as I believe the situation should have been handled.  Characteristically, I was forthright, saying, for example, that in a given situation we should "get a glass of water, paint smile on your face, and suck it up! We all signed up for this, after all!"  Then I started thinking: shouldn't we be doing that normally? I mean, I "signed up," so to speak, for the life of a Christian.  That means I should be that kind of servant leader all the time. We should be "on a mission trip" every day.  After all, the point of a mission trip is spread the Gospel. Shouldn't we be spreading the Gospel to those around us every day?  I think so.  As Christians, we have to be willing to show God's love everyday.  We have to be careful of how we represent God; we might be the only Jesus that a person ever sees.
     Anyway, that's what I've been thinking.
     Also, I've been thinking about a lot of things in my personal life.  I'm starting to think that this summer is going to be a summer of self-rediscover and reinventing.  I'm thinking a lot about who I am and how I've become and who I should be.  I really want to finally start getting my life in order, and I figure I better start soon. Thing is, I need people that are going to help me with that; I can't do it on my own. I know; I've tried. So, assuming I can find some people that will truly help me and lead me and guide me and stick with me through all the crap that's gonna go down during this journey, that's what I'll be doing this summer.
     And, I'll be sleeping a lot and going on a missions trip.
     And drinking a lot of coffee.
     And blogging.
     Anyway.
     That's about it.